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A Song of Praise

Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many…

Actively Patiently Waiting

Infertility is a waiting game. You wait to find out the results of the infertility tests; to find the why. You wait each month to ovulate. You wait to find out if this month, OH please God, is the month the second line shows up on the pregnancy test. You wait. You long, you ache,…

Active Patience

“I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1 My simple mind read that verse and thought I know what waiting patiently looks like. You are quiet and still and waiting. Right? That is what I teach my children. My two year-old whines, “Milk-y, milk-y, milk-y.” (I do…

The Lamp Lesson

When God is teaching me something, He often gives me opportunities at putting those new lessons in action. I had no idea that a lamp would provide such a lesson, but then again who knew a plunger could help either? I recently purchased a lamp for my second blessing, L. Her bare nightstand begged for…

Comparison is NOT Your Friend

Often on this infertility journey, we look around us and see what other people have. That sweet family of five, the teenage girl who is pregnant and unable or unwilling to take care of her baby, or even your best friend or sister is pregnant, why not me or you? Sisters that is a trap…

The Final Three

I left you hanging with my final three babies. As I mentioned earlier, I never planned on transferring more than two embryos for fear of high order multiple pregnancy. All of my embryos were “high quality.” ***Side note*** Yes, the embryologist actually grades your embryos. I have found it interesting that the quality doesn’t seem…

Blisters, Plungers, and Patience

I rubbed a blister on my hand today. I rubbed the blister into the palm of my right hand with the handle of a plunger. Yes, a NASTY plunger. It wasn’t the first time this week I had to plunge out a certain someone’s toilet. In fact it was just yesterday that I found my sweet…

Ten Things I Didn’t Know About IVF Until It Was Too Late

Artificial hormones are harder on my body than my regular ones. More nausea, more pregnancy-like symptoms do not necessarily mean you are pregnant. So I had to learn to hope in God not my body. “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will…

Faith and Fear

Someone much smarter than me, but I can’t figure out who that someone is, said or wrote, “Steps of faith often begin with seeds of fear.” Fear and faith. Together. Fear. Fear of God, fear of failure, fear of appearing crazy, fear of being a hypocrite. God often calls me to do something that is…

Epic Failure…

Samuel at the end of his tenure as Israel’s High Priest and Judge, probably felt like an epic failure. His sons were not following in his faith. They behaved wickedly, took bribes, and did not obey God. (1 Samuel 8) Not only did his sons not follow God, but the whole nation was looking for an…

Timing is Everything

Have you ever looked back over a day or a month or a year and been in awe of God’s perfect timing? How He orchestrates our lives with such minute detail? Have you ever wondered what would have happened if – I was earlier, later, or went a different direction? Maybe things would be different,…

Ordinarily Extraordinary

Acts 4:13 “When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.” So Peter and John were ordinary. These are the men who have done miracles and seen miracles, but they are ordinary. These…

Misc

Rejoice Always…Really?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand Philippians 4:4-5 ESV It is a constant throbbing pain. Some days I “feel” every bone in my ankles, fingers, and wrists. It is exhausting and depressing. So when I come to Philippians 4:4…

A Battle

A Battle By Angela Mackey They. People I trust and love People I hide from If THEY knew… If they knew what I thought If they realized what I have experienced THEY would call me names… Heretic. Foolish. Liar Progressive. Conservative. Wrong. Or would they? I do not know because I hide.

Poetry

Complexity

Complexity By Angela Mackey Yes or No? It isn’t that simple Yes or No? Nuance matters Yes or No? Is it really a dichotomy? Yes or No? Maybe both… Yes or No? There is so much more Yes or No? Can’t there be shades? Greys and beiges maybe even…

Culpable?

Culpable? by Angela Mackey It happened before A leaving, a void, a rift I see it. How it happened. Where we have been. Will they listen? Decisions tabled Waiting, flailing, languishing I see it. The coming storm. Will they listen? Do I dare? Bitterness whispers Tearing, ripping, wounding I see it. The anger roiling.…

Will the Dawn Bring Light?

Will the Dawn Bring Light? By Angela Mackey What violence done? What beauty trampled? …in the darkness …repeated in the dark Hope had bloomed But darkness brought violence Night snuffed the light Would day return? What would be left shame? destruction? Would the light make them see? Could they see …the violence? …the brokenness? …the…

Is It Just Noise?

Is it Just Noise? by Angela Mackey Go home! Jezebel! Heretic! False Teacher! Liberal! Conservative! Progressive! Fundamentalist! Words echo through glowing screens. Communication that bites and stings and clings. When I express my thoughts will flesh and blood echo the world of glowing screens? Will I be greeted…

Misc

EnJOYing Election Season: Cultivating Joy in the Chaos

“Evangelicals for Harris” are all CHINOS — Christians In Name Only. God is not fooled. Neither should we be fooled. My Social Media feeds are full of vitriol…from both sides of the political divide. “How can any Christian vote for a convicted criminal, rapist, insurrectionist, etc.” And it grieves me. The Bible says that all…

Art and Beauty: How to Embrace Beauty to Change Culture

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way… things I had no words for.” ― Georgia O’Keeffe Sometimes we forget that God created beauty. At least we evangelicals who value utilitarianism above beauty and art do. We forget that God is the original artist. He paints on canvases…

A Reason to Go to Church: God’s Presence and Joy

“Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much.” Claudio, Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare God does something special when His people come together as a congregation. When we sing, take communion, baptize people, listen to the preaching of God’s Word, His presence comes to us in a special…

Joy and Presence

Just a note…I have missed sharing this space with you all. So through prayer and planning, my goal is to post here twice a month. I hope you are blessed. Where Joy is Found You [the LORD] reveal the path of life to me;in your presence is abundant joy;at your right hand are eternal pleasures. Psalm…

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Misc, Poetry

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