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Christ’s Strength

“I can do all things through Him [Christ] who strengthens me.” Phil 4:13 This verse has become cliché in Christian circles. We spout it when someone complains, “it is hard,” or “I can’t do it.” We glibly rattle it off to our friend who is struggling with pain and loss. We think it is GREAT…

Ungrateful

I hate to admit it, but I am ungrateful. Often I do not appreciate how hard my husband works, nor do I thank my children when they are kind to each other or pick up after themselves. No, I expect those behaviors. I expect as part of our marriage contract that my husband works outside…

Anchor in the Storm

While trying to conceive, each month feels like a storm. The storm starts brewing as you plot and plan, watch and wait for the “perfect” time to baby dance. The clouds get darker and stormier as your hope increases because the timing was perfect. The winds start to howl as your hormones are whipped into…

Infertility Isn’t Fair

Infertility isn’t fair. Especially since we want babies, we would be great moms, so why can’t we have children? That question has been bouncing around in my brain lately. Especially after news that a sweet friend has finished her journey of fertility treatments unsuccessfully and another sweet friend is feeling that baby hunger again years…

It Isn’t Fair…

If I had a penny for the number of times I have said, “It isn’t fair,” I would be a rich woman. Then if I add in the times I have heard it from my kids, my friends, my family, even some of my patients (back in my nursing days) I would probably be richer…

Hoping in…WHAT?

Uncertainty and fear become constant companions when you desire to have children and cannot. You are constantly assessing your body either for ovulation signs in order to correctly time the deed, or for signs that you are indeed pregnant. I pinned my hope for joy and peace on being pregnant. If only that second line…

Healthy Fear…

I have mentioned in the past that I have been writing things down for YEARS. In fact I have some thing I wrote in grade school squirreled away in a notebook. For grins I started reading some of the things I wrote back when. Unfortunately I rarely wrote a date on things. However the fact…

No Condemnation

Infertility is full of so many uncertainties. We question everything. Why am I unable to conceive? Did I eat the wrong thing? Did I make poor choices in my past? Did I do something, anything that has caused this pain? Our hearts are condemning us. They are calling us guilty. Guilty of being unable to…

Blessedly Frustrated

I have to admit that lately I have felt FRUSTRATED! I have made no less than nine calls to service departments for repairs around the house in the last month. Not to mention that my van’s paint job is peeling, the CD player broke, and the breaks are starting to squeal. Then there is the…

Singleness of Heart and Action

I am weird. No really I am. I like Star Trek, and Lord of the Rings. I enjoy basketball, football, and reading. I love Jane Austen books and have read some of them 3 times or more. I appreciate the movies based on the books. I am a kindred spirit of Anne of Green Gables,…

Infertility Tears and More

I have become a crier. I HATE it. I don’t like crying in front of people, or being vulnerable. My mascara runs even though I use the “waterproof” kind. Then I walk around half the day with dark smudges under my eyes and no-body tells me. Do not get me wrong, I have more days…

Infertility and Relationships

Infertility often brings out the worst in us. Hurting and sad, we lash out and turn inward. We covet what others have and we have a difficult time entering their joy. I remember vividly the day my older sister called me to tell me she was pregnant. Do not get me wrong. I felt excited for…

Misc

Rejoice Always…Really?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand Philippians 4:4-5 ESV It is a constant throbbing pain. Some days I “feel” every bone in my ankles, fingers, and wrists. It is exhausting and depressing. So when I come to Philippians 4:4…

A Battle

A Battle By Angela Mackey They. People I trust and love People I hide from If THEY knew… If they knew what I thought If they realized what I have experienced THEY would call me names… Heretic. Foolish. Liar Progressive. Conservative. Wrong. Or would they? I do not know because I hide.

Poetry

Complexity

Complexity By Angela Mackey Yes or No? It isn’t that simple Yes or No? Nuance matters Yes or No? Is it really a dichotomy? Yes or No? Maybe both… Yes or No? There is so much more Yes or No? Can’t there be shades? Greys and beiges maybe even…

Culpable?

Culpable? by Angela Mackey It happened before A leaving, a void, a rift I see it. How it happened. Where we have been. Will they listen? Decisions tabled Waiting, flailing, languishing I see it. The coming storm. Will they listen? Do I dare? Bitterness whispers Tearing, ripping, wounding I see it. The anger roiling.…

Will the Dawn Bring Light?

Will the Dawn Bring Light? By Angela Mackey What violence done? What beauty trampled? …in the darkness …repeated in the dark Hope had bloomed But darkness brought violence Night snuffed the light Would day return? What would be left shame? destruction? Would the light make them see? Could they see …the violence? …the brokenness? …the…

Is It Just Noise?

Is it Just Noise? by Angela Mackey Go home! Jezebel! Heretic! False Teacher! Liberal! Conservative! Progressive! Fundamentalist! Words echo through glowing screens. Communication that bites and stings and clings. When I express my thoughts will flesh and blood echo the world of glowing screens? Will I be greeted…

Misc

EnJOYing Election Season: Cultivating Joy in the Chaos

“Evangelicals for Harris” are all CHINOS — Christians In Name Only. God is not fooled. Neither should we be fooled. My Social Media feeds are full of vitriol…from both sides of the political divide. “How can any Christian vote for a convicted criminal, rapist, insurrectionist, etc.” And it grieves me. The Bible says that all…

Art and Beauty: How to Embrace Beauty to Change Culture

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way… things I had no words for.” ― Georgia O’Keeffe Sometimes we forget that God created beauty. At least we evangelicals who value utilitarianism above beauty and art do. We forget that God is the original artist. He paints on canvases…

A Reason to Go to Church: God’s Presence and Joy

“Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much.” Claudio, Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare God does something special when His people come together as a congregation. When we sing, take communion, baptize people, listen to the preaching of God’s Word, His presence comes to us in a special…

Joy and Presence

Just a note…I have missed sharing this space with you all. So through prayer and planning, my goal is to post here twice a month. I hope you are blessed. Where Joy is Found You [the LORD] reveal the path of life to me;in your presence is abundant joy;at your right hand are eternal pleasures. Psalm…

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Misc, Poetry

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