Misc

Infertility and Relationships

Infertility often brings out the worst in us. Hurting and sad, we lash out and turn inward. We covet what others have and we have a difficult time entering their joy. I remember vividly the day my older sister called me to tell me she was pregnant. Do not get me wrong. I felt excited for…

A Song of Praise

Psalm 40:1-3 “I waited patiently for the LORD; he turned to me and heard my cry. He lifted me out of the slimy pit, out of the mud and mire; he set my feet on a rock and gave me a firm place to stand. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many…

Actively Patiently Waiting

Infertility is a waiting game. You wait to find out the results of the infertility tests; to find the why. You wait each month to ovulate. You wait to find out if this month, OH please God, is the month the second line shows up on the pregnancy test. You wait. You long, you ache,…

Active Patience

“I waited patiently for the LORD; He turned to me and heard my cry.” Psalm 40:1 My simple mind read that verse and thought I know what waiting patiently looks like. You are quiet and still and waiting. Right? That is what I teach my children. My two year-old whines, “Milk-y, milk-y, milk-y.” (I do…

The Lamp Lesson

When God is teaching me something, He often gives me opportunities at putting those new lessons in action. I had no idea that a lamp would provide such a lesson, but then again who knew a plunger could help either? I recently purchased a lamp for my second blessing, L. Her bare nightstand begged for…

Comparison is NOT Your Friend

Often on this infertility journey, we look around us and see what other people have. That sweet family of five, the teenage girl who is pregnant and unable or unwilling to take care of her baby, or even your best friend or sister is pregnant, why not me or you? Sisters that is a trap…

The Final Three

I left you hanging with my final three babies. As I mentioned earlier, I never planned on transferring more than two embryos for fear of high order multiple pregnancy. All of my embryos were “high quality.” ***Side note*** Yes, the embryologist actually grades your embryos. I have found it interesting that the quality doesn’t seem…

Blisters, Plungers, and Patience

I rubbed a blister on my hand today. I rubbed the blister into the palm of my right hand with the handle of a plunger. Yes, a NASTY plunger. It wasn’t the first time this week I had to plunge out a certain someone’s toilet. In fact it was just yesterday that I found my sweet…

Ten Things I Didn’t Know About IVF Until It Was Too Late

Artificial hormones are harder on my body than my regular ones. More nausea, more pregnancy-like symptoms do not necessarily mean you are pregnant. So I had to learn to hope in God not my body. “but those who hope in the LORD will renew their strength. They will soar on wings like eagles; they will…

Faith and Fear

Someone much smarter than me, but I can’t figure out who that someone is, said or wrote, “Steps of faith often begin with seeds of fear.” Fear and faith. Together. Fear. Fear of God, fear of failure, fear of appearing crazy, fear of being a hypocrite. God often calls me to do something that is…

Misc

Rejoice Always…Really?

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice. Let your reasonableness be known to everyone. The Lord is at hand Philippians 4:4-5 ESV It is a constant throbbing pain. Some days I “feel” every bone in my ankles, fingers, and wrists. It is exhausting and depressing. So when I come to Philippians 4:4…

A Battle

A Battle By Angela Mackey They. People I trust and love People I hide from If THEY knew… If they knew what I thought If they realized what I have experienced THEY would call me names… Heretic. Foolish. Liar Progressive. Conservative. Wrong. Or would they? I do not know because I hide.

Culpable?

Culpable? by Angela Mackey It happened before A leaving, a void, a rift I see it. How it happened. Where we have been. Will they listen? Decisions tabled Waiting, flailing, languishing I see it. The coming storm. Will they listen? Do I dare? Bitterness whispers Tearing, ripping, wounding I see it. The anger roiling.…

Misc

EnJOYing Election Season: Cultivating Joy in the Chaos

“Evangelicals for Harris” are all CHINOS — Christians In Name Only. God is not fooled. Neither should we be fooled. My Social Media feeds are full of vitriol…from both sides of the political divide. “How can any Christian vote for a convicted criminal, rapist, insurrectionist, etc.” And it grieves me. The Bible says that all…

Art and Beauty: How to Embrace Beauty to Change Culture

“I found I could say things with color and shapes that I couldn’t say any other way… things I had no words for.” ― Georgia O’Keeffe Sometimes we forget that God created beauty. At least we evangelicals who value utilitarianism above beauty and art do. We forget that God is the original artist. He paints on canvases…

A Reason to Go to Church: God’s Presence and Joy

“Silence is the perfectest herald of joy. I were but little happy if I could say how much.” Claudio, Much Ado About Nothing, Shakespeare God does something special when His people come together as a congregation. When we sing, take communion, baptize people, listen to the preaching of God’s Word, His presence comes to us in a special…

Joy and Presence

Just a note…I have missed sharing this space with you all. So through prayer and planning, my goal is to post here twice a month. I hope you are blessed. Where Joy is Found You [the LORD] reveal the path of life to me;in your presence is abundant joy;at your right hand are eternal pleasures. Psalm…

Intimacy, Holiness, and Power

“Lord, who may dwell in your sacred tent? Who may live on your holy mountain?” Psalm 15:1 My heart echoes the cry of the psalmist. How do I get close to God? How do I develop a deep and abiding relationship? Can I move-in with God? What must I do so I can dwell with…

Discipline and Missions

The word God gave me this year is discipline… I am flat out bad at it. I feel constrained by schedules and when I don’t accomplish tasks on the days I plan I chastise myself. But then I don’t plan my time and so I have a stack of things that need mended or a…

God Did It – A Conference, A Call, and You

In case you didn’t know, last week I spoke at The M.O.M. Initiative’s Better Together Conference. Here are some pictures of the conference. I flew on a plane to Jacksonville, Florida and met with 22 authors and speakers who shared break-out sessions and keynotes to several hundred women. It was a sweet time of…

Misc

Misc, Poetry

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